Friday, September 4, 2015
Lost, Found and Gone...
Back in May for Mother's Day I wrote a post about both my adoptive mother and my birth mother, you can find that post here The Tale of Two Mother's.
For whatever reason today, I typed my birth mothers name, Barbara Baugh Aycock into Google. When the results brought up her obituary I was shocked. Then I realized, she had already passed before I wrote that post. I am at a loss as to how I feel about any of this but I want to pay my respects and this is the only format I have to say goodbye.
I have no idea whether you told my siblings that I had found you. I only know that they knew I existed. I wish I would have thought of taking our picture together on the day we went to lunch. At least then I would have had a picture to show my son and my parents. I wish that you could have met them all but especially my parents.
I wish I had known that you were ill. I would have liked to have had one last chance to say goodbye. However, you made it clear that you were not interested in a relationship and I respected your wishes. Some days, I wish you had said yes instead of no. I really wanted you to see the work I have done in tracing our family tree. I think even you would have liked it very much. I do know that I would like to share this information with my other siblings. Perhaps one day I will but that day is in the future.
I hope you find comfort and peace knowing that you did the right thing for me. Thank you for giving me life and loving me enough to do the right thing. I am overjoyed that you picked my parents as the ones to love me and adopt me. It is because of these choices that I love you and I could not have asked for better parents or a better life. Rest in peace Barbara.
Kathleen Scarlet (aka Dawn Marie)